Seeing the new doctor

Posted on January 22, 2008

I think perhaps G-d is taking care of me.

I saw my new psychiatrist’s assistant today and I like her. She is very perky and energetic and talked fast today but she was running late and we had a lot of ground to cover in a short time.

She is leaving me on the Prozac at the current level and concurrs with everyone else’s diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder. I don’t think, with my history, anyone can argue with that. She saw that my previous psychiatrist had indicated OCD and with as recent as that diagnosis is, she wants to work with it a little and see if it is true OCD or some other anxiety disorder with obsessive compulsive tendencies.

The thing she said that surprised me the most is that she thinks the fact that I’m not in as good a place as I could be is that we’re missing–that is, not treating–something underlying. She said the things I described with my sleep and anxiety sound very much like post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD.

I was diagnosed with PTSD years ago, but I assumed it resolved when I stopped having flashbacks and excessive hypervigilance. She said if it is PTSD, it might mean a slight alteration in my meds, but mostly she thinks I’m on the right thing.

Except for sleep. It’s too hard to say right now, she said, if I’ve built up a resistance to Lunesta or if I’m just not at a high enough dosage to combat the Prozac or if there’s something else going on. So until I see her again in about two months–her earliest appointment, she is very busy–I can increase the Lunesta up to 6mg/night.

I know I am sensitive to medicine so I’ll increase 1mg (1/2 tablet) at a time and see what happens. I don’t want to take 6mg tonight and wake up on Friday!

Or maybe I do. I have been thinking about how nice it might be to hibernate and avoid this difficult time of year altogether. But then I think of how many things I might miss out on, too.

One thing she said is that she wants me to expand my list of things I do for “fun.” She thinks there is too much in each of my days that is about taking care of others and not enough taking care of myself.

Of course in my mind, it is just the opposite. How dare I take a full eight hours for sleep! Think of all the good I could be doing during that time!

I think I have just figured out that my taking care of others around me is related very much to my having high expectations of myself, and others too to some extent. I will have to explore that further.

For tonight, a little more Lunesta and hopefully a full night’s sleep.

6 Comments

  1. corner point

    Hatzlacha rabba…

    I’ve been thinking about you

    🙂

  2. Leora

    Yes, G-d is taking care of you…He gave you the ability to care for yourself, and you are using that ability. You are an inspiration to others.

    My father also struggles with sleep issues. It is all too common.

    Be well.

  3. Shira Salamone

    I’m happy to hear that you have some good news. Am I allowed to pun and hope that you’ll sleep on it, or will you shoot me? 🙂

    Seriously, you’re on my misheberach and r’faeinu lists. I wish you restful nights.

  4. Ayelet

    I’m glad to hear that you clicked with the new assistant. That’s important. Hope you can iron out the lack of sleep wrinkle soon.

  5. Keli Ata

    And for sure G-d is taking care of you 🙂

  6. Keli Ata

    I’ll bless you (and please bless me back) with a good night and a good night’s sleep.

    It’s 1:58 AM. I’m going to take a shower and then the Ambien CR.

    Laila tov and chalomot paz 🙂

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