Lost
I don't want to jump to conclusions but I am scared.I have been so tired for so long. The upgrade to 5mg Lunesta has helped me sleep through the night most nights but I still spend a larger percentage of my daytime looking forward to sleep than I do looking forward to...
Playing with fire
It is almost Shabbos and I am feeling anxious and disconnected.I have finally identified the feeling I was trying so hard to name in my post, Seeking. I don't know if it has a name, but it has a description. It is the feeling of being completely, totally vulnerable...
Strength to Stand
Todah rabah to everyone who wrote to me! The overwhelming vote was for Strength to Stand: A Rabbi David Cohen Novel.Initial bound galleys have been sent to four beta readers with two more going out within the next week (due to their schedules). One the beta readers...
Seeing the new doctor
I think perhaps G-d is taking care of me.I saw my new psychiatrist's assistant today and I like her. She is very perky and energetic and talked fast today but she was running late and we had a lot of ground to cover in a short time.She is leaving me on the Prozac at...
Strength to Blog
With thanks, Haveil Havalim #149 is up at Life in Israel. Many, many thanks are also due to SoccerDad, who started HH and is handing over the reins to Jack.Now that the important stuff is out of the way, let's get to the real reason I'm here.I need more feedback,...
Vote for a Title
Note: Additional potential titles added 1/10, 1/11! Plus updates! See below.Now that I've written a bit more about what Destined to Choose is about, I want to share what Book #2 is about.I have an in-progress 25-words-or-less summary of Book #2, working title: As in...
One step forward but how many back?
I am not doing so well today.I tried to stay with the feeling I wrote about on Monday but it was elusive and by night time I was simply too tired. Yesterday I woke feeling even more tired and by last night my anxiety was really high. I managed to stop pulling hair and...
Seeking
Now I must address the feeling I have been trying to avoid since the last post.My mind wants to find easy origins: not enough sleep, going without Lunesta for one night, hormone changes, no view of the sun in the sky today. But none of these seem right because this is...
Competition, blogging, self-esteem and a bit of procrastination
I have been in the midst of a very intense emotion all day today and I can't identify it. Whatever it is, I'm afraid to go near it but I am drawn to things that touch on it, that resonate with it. I called my friend D while I was running errands this morning and D...
When three out of four IS bad
My doctors and counselor have emphasized that there are four necessary components to my success in coping with depression and anxiety:Consistent medicationProper nutritionRegular exerciseAdequate sleepI suppose I could add that a positive attitude helps, but that's...