It may be a small thing for most people, but I emptied the (clean) dishwasher, filled it with a sinkfull of dirty dishes, rinsed and set aside recyclables, and washed down the counter today. For me, knowing what the last week has been like, it was a big step.
I despise a dirty kitchen. In my mind, nothing says “I’m a slob” like dirty dishes and garbage all over the place. Not to call anyone else a slob. Just me. I’m the last person who should be judging others. So cleaning it is a very positive sign.
I’ve been taking the increased dose of my meds as mentioned here for just over a week now, and that’s about right. It usually takes a week to notice a difference. Which means I might actually be climbing out of this thing.
It worries me to think that I usually go through one of these just prior to Pesach, too. Maybe I won’t this time, but October, January, and late March are frequently difficult months. Maybe I should just plan to increase my meds in mid-March.
Will I still blog when I get (even temporarily) better?
Absolutely. Because it needs to be said that I’m not depressed all the time. I have hard weeks and even months, but it’s not all the time. It’s not forever. And I want to be able to honestly share what I’m like when I’m not under the influence of my unstable emotions.
That said, I still have one big issue that came up this time, one I really need to deal with before I go back to “normal” life and come out of my shell. It’s still morning. Maybe I can write more about it yet today.