I don’t know why I don’t want to write. I am home sick today, my children taken care of, sitting in bed with my computer. For hours my mind has been going over and over the events of the past few months. I want to share but the thought of writing it all down leaves me exhausted.

I think I will have to break this down into different topics. It is overwhelming otherwise. I want to share about

• my several recent meetings with my rabbi
• follow-up to the baby party I helped plan post-miscarriage
• attending a Jewish mental health conference
• treatment update and losing a provider
• my new anti-anxiety kit
• reintegration at shul
• fears about repeating last winter
• the struggle for sleep and what to do about dream interpretation (aka Where is Yosef When You Need Him?)
• safe places, safe people, and using my safety plan for the first time in public
• psychology, introspection and Shabbat Musaf

For now some more tea, a nap, and I hope to be back shortly to begin.