Can You Always Choose Your Feelings?

Posted on August 6, 2021

To all the people who keep insisting that you always get to choose what you feel:

This is NOT true for trauma survivors OR people coping with health issues OR people grieving the loss of a loved one. PTSD is not a choice. Depression is not a choice. Anxiety is not a choice. Chronic pain is not a choice. Grief is not a choice.

Trauma is not only individual but can also be communal and generational. Racism, sexism, and LGBTQIA-hostility can all create trauma, and the feelings of those who live with it day in and day out are also not always a choice.

Telling someone they only feel what they feel because they chose it is harmful and shaming. Please stop.


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