The REAL Me
Along the lines of my previous post about being on Facebook, I've decided to stop hiding behind my avatar. Don't get me wrong -- I love my avatar. I even went so far as to take a printout of my avatar to my hair stylist and say, "My hair is really close to this, but...
Not now, honey, I’m Facebooking
I've done it. I am now socially networked. And there must be something wrong, because I am having WAY too much fun with it.Whoever thought that throwing a sheep at a shul friend or sending flair to Husby when I'm sitting four feet away could be so fun? Okay, more to...
Jews and Halloween – some personal thoughts
Today is Picture Day at school. Yep, on Halloween. The reminder explicitly states "No costumes, please." Now, it is a Jewish school, so I asked Oldest Son (7) if they'd talked at all about Halloween and why the school doesn't recognize it. He said no, which I thought...
Threatening to burst
Tonight I am tense. I am barely able to breathe. I am dizzy. I feel like whatever is going on inside of me cannot be contained by the confines of my body. I feel a little like I am going crazy.Today I had only three flashbacks. I could actually feel what I felt so...
Breakthrough or breakdown? part 2
My counselor took notes on what I was saying and made a copy for me. She says this is what we really need to work on. It is as if the chemical part of the depression and anxiety is more or less stabilized so now the rest of what I keep locked inside can finally come...
Back to Work
The kids are off to day camp on Monday (for three weeks), which means I can get back to work! Ergo, also back to the blog.I have such ambitious, noble intentions.Strength to Stand is in the hands of my editor. It's progressing more slowly than I'd have liked, but it's...
Could it really be that simple?
I am sorry I haven't been here in such a long time. I didn't intend to take a break from blogging, but apparently I needed one, and by the time I realized it, I needed to stay away enough that I couldn't even come post that I needed to take a break. I apologize for my...
Breakthrough or breakdown?
I saw my counselor again today and had one of the most intense sessions I think I've ever had. All of the feelings, the seeking, the anxiety, even the depression that usually comes this time of year all came to a head this morning.My counselor took notes on what I was...
Coping as best I can
I called my counselor today. She only had a moment when she returned my message, another client was waiting, but she created a new appointment for me next Wednesday. By then I should know if the medication is working.Today I was trembling all day, anxiety trapped in...
Chaos
There is a battle raging within me. I feel like I am in chaos. It is so hard to focus.This is what I'd described in the hospital years ago that the doctor thought might be a manic episode. I can tell as I sit here awash in the feelings that it is not. A very good...